| Paw Colors | Points |
|---|---|
| Grey | 0-49 |
| Red | 50-149 |
| Orange | 150-299 |
| Green | 300-599 |
| Magenta | 600-1499 |
| Purple | 1500-4999 |
| Blue | 5000-9999 |
| Brown | 10000-24999 |
| Black | 25000+ |
flipperkitty's Profile
Paw Level: 12421
Member Since: 10 / 5 / 2009
Name: Oh Boy I Really Did It This Time
Categories:
Cat Care
Thank god I saw this question... I have the answer for you. Please follow these steps exactly:
1) Rent or purchase a tennis ball machine. You know, the ones that fire the tennis balls.
2) Purchase a bean and cheese burrito. Frozen is ok - just make sure it\\\'s cooked before you proceed.
3) Get a 4 pack of energy drinks. Make sure they\\\'re not sugar free.
4) Get a 9\\\"x9\\\" baking pan.
5) Fill the baking pan with the energy drinks and place the burrito in it to soak for 3 hours.
6) Get a pin or needle from a syringe and place the non-pointy end in one end of the burrito. Make sure the point is still sticking out from the burrito - you don\\\'t want the point inside the burrito.
7) Make sure your cat is nice and relaxed. The word unclenched comes to mind. You may have to plan ahead and catch your cat coming down from a several hour catnip binge. Spare no expense.
8) Now setup the tennis ball machine and point it at your cats ear. You may want to bust out a slide rule or scientific calculator so you can account for gravity, distance, wind speed, relative humidity, and any other factors that may affect the trajectory of the energized burrito piecing missile. You will also have to consider the weight and aerodynamics of the burrito as well. I know you may have been told otherwise but there\\\'s some serious math and even chaos theory involved here. Depending on the size of the burrito vs. the tennis ball machine barrel, you may want to consider putting small fins on the backside of the burrito. Again, spare no expense. If you want to pierce your cats ears you don\\\'t want to
9) Next, drop that burrito non-pointy end in first to the tennis ball machine. You should hear the same satifying plunk as when you drop a shell into a mortar barrel. If you don\\\'t know what that sounds like, please do your research first. If you do know what it sounds like but you don\\\'t hear it, then you\\\'re doing it wrong and you should carefully extract the burrito and retry this step.
10) Re-measure wind speed, distance, relative humidity and gravity to make sure nothing has changed since step 9 completion.
11) Now fire up that tennis ball machine and let the burrito fly. Hopefully the thunk of the burrito leaving the barrel will not cause the cat to move its head - if it\\\'s in a catnip coma it shouldn\\\'t.
12) You\\\'re now the proud owner of a cat with a pierced ear.
13) If you\\\'d like to be the owner of a cat with 2 pierced ears or multiple piercings in a single ear, please repeat the above steps. You may want to plan this ahead so you get the proper number of burritos and energy drinks. Note that using the same burrito or energy drink bath more than once could lead to infections. You have been warned.
NOTE: Please refrain from piercing anything other than ears with this method. Burritos should only be used for piercing ears. Other cat piercings require Mexican foods with different masses and weights, like chimichangas, tamales, and the occasional taquito.
Source Link: Theme music to listen to while piercing
8 Answers | Asked By: killerCarl 246
Cat Adoption
Public transportation would probably be a better idea, especially if it\\\'s raining.
9 Answers | Asked By: kittenlover69 2
Cat Tales
Dude, I can\\\'t give you any paw points. But what I can do is send you a tennis ball machine.
5 Answers | Asked By: Adolf Hitler 0
Cat Feeding
Look... I could send you a tennis ball machine... that\\\'s about the best could do for you.
3 Answers | Asked By: Adolf Hitler 0
